6/30/2005 05:10:00 PM|W|P|JFE 8555|W|P|Here is an MSN messenger interview conducted between Mr. Nut and me, Mr. 8555, obviously created out of fiction, but hey, who cares?
Q: Firstly, who the hell are you?
A: I am a car, a 2002 Proton Iswara 1.3s Aeroback to be exact, with the identity plate JFE 8555.
Q: Wait a minute! You are a car? This is simply absurd!
A: Which is the absurd part? Me? Or the idiot asking me a moronic question?
Q: Err, and before I continue, what is an identity plate?
A: You humans have identity cards right? You guys know that no matter how many times you change your IC regardless if you lost them or you broke them, a new one will still be issued out with the same number right? With all the same particulars? Same with identity plates for cars, which you humans call number plates. A soul (for example, me) is born into a number plate namenumber (for example, JFE 8555). Thus, no matter how many cars the namenumber registers to, the soul of the number will follow.
Q: Err, OK. So first obvious question is, why are you on the blogosphere?
A: Well, I want to inject some colour into the blogging world, plus with me around, I have effectively destroyed the human 100% domination in the blogosphere. Now it stands at 99.9999999999999.....%. OK, then another reason I blog is because many people would not know how their cars would feel regarding certain issues, so I speak on behalf of many.
Q: OK, that's an insult. Nevermind, next obvious question is, you are just a car. Nevermind that a car has no soul, spirit, A.I. or life, so to speak, .....how the hell do you gain access to the Internet to post blog entries and ping to PPS?
A: People say God works in mysterious ways. Same for me.
Q: That doesn't answer the question.
A: How does God go about?
Q: Err, I have no idea.
A: Doesn't answer my question, fair enough isn't it?
Q: Err....OK, we'll move along now. When were you born?
A: Hmm, I was born in the year 2000, and entered my first body, a 2000 Nissan Vanette, through my identity plate JFE 8555. You see, a car's soul lies with his/her (yes, we cars have gender) identity plate, no matter which body he inhibits, the sould will always stay with the identity plate namenumber.
Q: Ok, that's interesting. How come you are in a Proton Iswara Aeroback body now?
A: That's a long story.
Q: Ok, what are your aspirations?
A: Ah, this is interesting. One day, I hope to participate in a Proton Merdeka race at Sepang competing with with various other cars and eventually beating them.
Q: Heheheh, I don't think that's possible...you're just a 1.3 and you're an Iswara *sniggers*...
A: Eh, you want to visit an intensive-care-unit chaffuered in a stretcher?
Q: Er, sorry Mr. 8555. You mind if I call you that?
A: 8555 will do.
Q: Hmmm, 8555, tell me, are you satisfied being in a Proton Iswara Aeroback?
A: Well, there are lots of pros and cons you see. The pros is that I am reliable, plus I am fuel efficient, and I have a pleasant disposition. Howver, the cons are that I am viewed as an ugly car, thanks to two things, my rear wheel arch and placement of reverse indicators. Then there is the issue of my sedan brothers largely being taxis, so when you mention the word 'Iswara', people think of taxis. How demoralizing. Other than that, I'm cool.
Q: Any plans for a makeover?
A: Heheheh, yup, as soon as my master gets rich.
Q: Tell me 8555, who is your master?.
A: Hey, you're drifting away from topic, this is MY interview. Plus there is much to say about my master a.k.a. my friend. Oh, he's a blogger too.
Q: Oh, sorry sorry. OK, but we all know one day you will be dissatisfied being in a Iswara Aeroback's body and would like to move to a different body. Any body you are
craving for at the moment?
A: Yes, the 1999 Subaru Impreza 22b WRX STi. Ultimate macho machine!
Q: Err, you want to get into the body of an older car?
A: Yeah, why not? Mind you, its 4WD.
Q: Err, never mind. So are you romantically inclined?
A: Unfortunately, I share this status with my master, we are both single. But looking. So far, I think my master may have better luck than me. Dammit.
Q: Owh, how cute....
A: Hey, don't say cute OK. Do you actually know what 'cute' means?
Q: Err, ugly but adorable?
A: You didn't have to answer that question you dimwit.
Q: Oh, sorry. I think I better go now, I see your engine temperature rising.
A: Good idea, you better take a bus to be safe. Walk and you're dead.
Q: Ok, byyeeeeeeeee!
A: *revs engine*
No humans were hurt in the course of this interview.|W|P|112012294661647399|W|P|The Official Q & A Entry : All about 'project 8-triple-5'|W|P|6/27/2005 05:06:00 PM|W|P|JFE 8555|W|P|There is this new radio ad for the new Proton Savvy on the....duh, radio....which features a 'crazy scientist' kind of person and a 'test subject 5XX'. I suppose it is the second type of radio spot for the new Savvy, after the first tried to focus on its body strength by telling its test subject to drive around KL whilst being blindfolded..... -_-. No, I have no intention on commenting about its stupidity.
Instead, I will comment about the latest ad. I think its bloody ridiculous. This, time, the idiot scientist tells its new test subject (I wonder why its a new test subject, did the previous one die?) to deliver a pizza from KL to Singapore in under half an hour. -_-. Yes, even an aeroplane can't do such a thing. But they are claiming a Savvy can. Malaysia Boleh spirit? More like Malaysia Bangang.
In that ad, a few things were apparent;
1. Proton claims its Savvy can deliver a pizza from KL to Singapore (a more than 400km distance) in under half an hour. Sheer Stupidity.
2. They claimed that while proudly pointing out the top speed of the Savvy is 170kmh. Now you do the math, if you theoratically go 170 kilometers per hour, you will go (at top speed) 85 kilometers per half hour. Sheer Stupidity.
3. At the same time, Proton is indirectly telling Malaysians to speed while the limit on the highway is up to 110kmh. What kind of idiot would want to go at their claimed top speed of 170kmh? To satisfy their hobby of collecting speeding tickets? Sheer Stupidity.
4. Why even market the top speed? Sheer Stupidity.
5. The advertising industry in Malaysia has gone insane. Sheer Stupidity.
I feel ashamed to have Proton parents. I hope they disown me and all my kind. You think Mitsubishi would adopt me?|W|P|111986333228995175|W|P|Sheer Stupidity : The Proton Savvy Radio Ad|W|P|6/25/2005 05:11:00 PM|W|P|JFE 8555|W|P|Dev helped me with this one.... I dedicate this short poem thingy to my master who turns 22 years old today.
Master oh Master,
Without u, i am all so dusty,
Without u, i am all so old,
Without u, i am all so useless,
U fix my broken dentures,
U fix my alignments,
U take me for a shower,
With a soap that feels like snow....
Master oh Master.....
I am so proud to have u....
Though I am jealous, u drive Dev's car often....
But u wait master,
My gift for ur bday.....my 4 wheels for ur service right after the Green Jade VIOS arrive....
It has come a loooong waaaayyyy!|W|P|111969089472399983|W|P|To my master : Happy B'day Din!|W|P|6/25/2005 05:01:00 PM|W|P|JFE 8555|W|P|Initial D came out two days ago. Some love it, more are dissapointed. I guess thats what happens when the movie does not completely follow the sequence and flow of the original eh? However, the significant achievement here is that The AE86 and other cars in the movie (RX-7 FC3S, BNR32 and Evo 3) have joined the silverscreens top cars, joining the ranks or more popular movie cars such as the Delorean from Back To The Future trilogy, the cars of Fast and Furious and the lousy sequel 2 Fast 2 Furious, The Pontiac GTO from xXx, etc. A great achievement for Asian cars notably.
I would like to be such a star one day. Imagine all the dazzle being treated like royalty. I would definately like to see me or my brothers be a star of a movie apart from the humans. Instant cult status. The only time I've seen my kind on the big screen was in the movie 'Entrapment' starring Catherine Zeta Jones and Sean Connery. It was an Iswara KL Taxi and got like an appearance of just 6 seconds. -_-. Not enough lah. But it's a start.
In the not so distant future, when Din gets a digital video camera, I might be in a short video clip that he will make. Actually, let me spill the beans of his plans now. He plans to make a short clip of me in various driving modes (drift maybe?), locations (of course mostly at Genting, may even include Batu Tiga raceway or Sepang F1 circuit), weather (day, night, clear, raining, misty), modification stages (read : U.P.G.R.A.D.E.S.), interior, exterior... and etc.
There are also plans for him to learn how to patch me into the next Need For Speed game (I think it's called Most Wanted or something), but of course, I won't be inserted by the kind people at EA Games, this will be coding, design and programming from scratch. Pictures of me will be taken at various angles, so that the end result is as acurate as possible. And if I'm in the game, I hope they give me the physics of a really powerful car...heheh, I smell Lamborghini....
I wonder if any of you know how or got any lobang? Any assistance rendered will be highly appreciated and I may send you a bottle of wax for your car.
He would probably ask his younger brother to help out in the movie making (that guy is gifted) and stuff about my upgrades (he's an engineer to be). Actually he has already mixed and compiled a video all about drifting, but I don't know how to host or put up that video for download. Will learn later then post it up.
I'm so excited about my future prospects.
*revs engine*|W|P|111969371215967577|W|P|Why can't I be a star?|W|P|6/24/2005 07:20:00 PM|W|P|JFE 8555|W|P|I'm so sad to know that while Din had a blast at the PPS 2nd Birthday Bash, I was parked next to his dad's shop slowly collecting dust and cat fur. So sad.
*shoots more water from nozzles, crying the night away*
Argh, if only the Vios his dad ordered arrived earlier. I could be there! Din used his friend's car and got such a great parking spot in front of the entrance. I could have been in some photos... :-(.
I hope I can make it to the next Birthday Bash. Hopefully with a better exhaust and some spanking new rims ;-)|W|P|111961235000695178|W|P|*water shoots from nozzles* boohoo, I didn't race to the Human's Bloggers Meet...|W|P|6/22/2005 07:15:00 PM|W|P|JFE 8555|W|P|Very often, we have misguided individuals in life. Same goes for cars.
You very well know I'm a Proton. No matter how many times you look at me, I'm still a Proton. Nevermind I have a Mitsubishi powerplant, I'm still a Proton. I entered this body while it was a Proton. And I will exit the car while it is still a Proton (I'm not telling yet which body I'm rooting for in the future ;-) ).
So why the HELL would people go and change the Proton logo with Mitsubishi's 3 red diamonds? Why do people go and change from Kancil to Mira? And all those conversion kits! Have they gone insane? What's the point???
I can understand some people crave for the Evo to such a degree they want to make their Wiras become Evo 3s and their Wajas as Evo 7s. Oh but come onnnn, are they that blind? Simple question. Would people respect you and your car for imitating another car? Definately not. You would be put off man. The other day saw a fellow Iswara Aeroback in dark blue. Want to know how he looks like? Bloody lowered suspension (you know, the slow pokes who take forever to negotiate a speed bump that they have to zig zag on it), crystal taillights (ewww), change of logo to Mitsubishi (so what else is new), Big ass exhaust (that scrapes the road every time it negotiates a speed bump), and ugly unfuntional GT-wing and some kick ass rims (the only good part). Oh yeah, forgot to mention it has a fake bee-sting antenna at the back. You would think the owner has gone kookoo, you are right, but you may spare the car thinking it was an innocent victim. NoooOOOooo, I'll tell you what it is, it's a sombong victim. Since it was parked next to me while the owner went into my master's mini-mart to buy some death sticks, I had a chat with my 'long-lost' sibling. For simplicity's sake, I'll call it DarkBlue.
Me: *Horns at the car*
Me: Wah why so sombong? Yessss pulak.
DarkBlue: Owh, it's shameful to be talking to a stock car. Will spoil my image.
Me: OoooOOOooo, YOUR IMAGE??!! What makes you think you have such a good image you double antenna idiot?
DarkBlue: Owhh, how rude, did your Proton parents teach you that?
Me: Oh I'm sorry. My bad. I meant exhaust-hole.
DarkBlue: Damn you.
Me: And what do you mean by 'your Proton parents'? Their your parents too.
DarkBlue: What do you mean!? You must be absurd! Can't you see I'm a Mitsubishi!?
Me: Only your engine you screwd up piece of metal. And aluminium.
DarkBlue: Owh how silly of you. This must be how stock car's think like. No creativity and aspirations to stand out form the rest.
Me: Oh you stand out allright you filthy traitor. Trying to imitate our Mitsubishi relatives. And failing miserably at it.
DarkBlue: Owh, I don't want to talk to you anymore. Stock cars suck.
Me: Don't bet on it prettyboy. I'll smoke you using my first two gears alone while you suffer turbo lag.
DarkBlue: Owh, you hurt my feelings. Damn you to Junkyard!
Me: I'm so gonna blog about you, you sick turd.
The pathetic owner comes and goes off in the car while revving away. I had a good laugh with water coming out of my nozzles. Stupid DarkBlue. And I hope it breaks down in a traffic jam.
I sincerely hope this Ah Beng culture will come to an end. We wouldn't want to see a fluorescent tubelight on a car's spoiler one day don't we? Oh wait, that already happened... -_-. We're doomed.
*spare tire deflated*|W|P|111943913163828173|W|P|Misguided cars think like a bucket of nuts.|W|P|6/20/2005 01:17:00 PM|W|P|JFE 8555|W|P|Well, I don't know about you humans, but cars really hate being in a jam. Not just humans. I know you guys who especially drive manual will hate jams, even more so if its on the uphill. And many of these jams are caused by a few factors; stupid drivers who get themselves into an accident and slow down traffic, stupid roadworks, stupid planning of a highway where an exit and and entry are so close to each other cars have to slow down massively (the MRR2 near the Pandan Indah I think), and a few more. Well, some things you have control over, others you don't. You would think humans suffer coz of the leg work involved, we have it just as bad. How would you feel looking and being in close proximity to somebody's elses' ass and smelling their fart for an hour? That's how I feel. Bumper to bumper traffic and I have to take in exhaust fumes into my radiator which then travel through my air-con system (sometimes I get high when I see the bumper of a cute Kelisa.... *drools coolant fluid*). And sometimes if the driver is lousy at estimating, a car would kiss the bumper of another vehicle. What if that vehicle was an dirty lorry, an rusty pickup or worse....an ugly Honda City?
Well, in case you didn't know, driving is all about estimating or which I call; agak-agak driving. You have to agak-agak an entry speed into a corner, you have to agak-agak how fast and hard you have to brake when driving on a highway to avoid a moron who brakes suddenly, you have to agak-agak the balance of the clutch and accelerator to avoid stalling the engine, you have to agak-agak how much fuel your empty fuel tank can get you to petrol station and most importantly, you have to agak-agak your way in a jam so you can get out of it quickly.
With all I have seen on Malaysian roads since I have been born, I can see Malaysians have grasped very little on how to drive the most efficiently in a jam. Well, today is your lucky day coz your friendly neighbourhood Iswara Aeroback is going to educate you on how to make the best of it in a jam.
In a traffic jam on a road such as the long stretch on the Federal Highway, which I am sure many of you have experienced it time and time again, you have stop and go traffic. Stop and go meaning; you accelerate quickly and stop quickly. This means you use your accelerator and brakes (and clutch for the manual guys) interchangibly and frequently. This really sucks coz it increases wear and tear in many parts of your car especially your timing belt and heats up your braking fluid. Your air-con also has more work to do because your car's RPM would be lower. Thus, in the jam, your car will suffer lots of things, and you will lose lots of time in stop and go traffic because it is not smooth flowing like a river. This is felt by all people in the jam and is worsened when a car changes into your lane causing even more delay to those behind you. Thus, what is the most appropriate way to tackle the jam? Simple.
You drive at a speed which is determined by the rear (braking) lights of the car in front of you. If the car in front of you was manual it won't be so bad, but auto cars brake even to slow down a bit.You see, when the car in front of you brakes, your eyes send a signal to the brain, which later tells the feet to apply pressure to the brake pedal. Subconciously, you are controlled by the car in front of you. This causes a chain reaction to the rest of the drivers behind you and the follow your driving style. Thus, the key point here is for you to initiate the CONTROL.
Instead of accelerating quickly and braking quickly, try this. When the car in front of you moves from a standstill, don't match its speed. GO SLOWER. You see, when you drive slower, by the time the car in front of you brakes and moves again, you won't have to apply the brakes because you have a comfortable margin to drive behind that car. Let that driver drive inefficiently while you become a hero to those driving behind you. Because when the guys from behind you follow your driving style subconciously, they start driving behind you at a slow speed, traffic becomes smoother, everyone's fuel consumption will become more normal, they don't have to play around so much with the three foot pedals and the air-con system works at a normal rate. Stop only when you agak-agak traffic has to stop. At least you minimize the occurences of stop and go traffic. Meaning more time is saved and people get to their destinations faster.
Try it and you can help reduce the 'waiting period' in Malaysian traffic jams. Good luck.
Today's lesson is brought to you by the letters; J...F...E...and the numbers 8, 5, 5 and 5.|W|P|111924472095111902|W|P|Help reduce Stop and Go traffic in jams.|W|P|6/17/2005 10:27:00 PM|W|P|JFE 8555|W|P|I have a confession to make. I wasn't always an Iswara Aeroback. I mean, this body is not what I was born in. I came about in year 2000. I only entered the body of an Iswara Aeroback in 2002. You see, Mr. Deen bought another vehicle and registered my name, JFE 8555, to it.
And lo and behold, this was the body I was in for two years before I 'switched' bodies...
my original body....notice the sporty looking rims
Yeah, due to a mini financial crisis my master had, he had to sell of the the Vanette I was in, but my soul came back in this current car form. You see, this is possible. You see, my name number JFE 8555 is like what an Identity Card is to you humans. You can change ur IC but your number will still say the same. Same for me. I can change car bodies, but my soul will be intact. And I'm still with my happy masters. That what matters.
Hope this didn't shock you guys and babes too much.|W|P|111901887576443550|W|P|Get ready for a big shock.|W|P|6/17/2005 10:59:00 AM|W|P|JFE 8555|W|P|I was very surprised to see my street name mentioned in this article, (special thanks to Simon for telling me).
".....more popular Malay- sian blogs, such as "Aisehman" and "TV Smith", engage in socio-political commentary. Less known endeavours like "project 8-triple-5", where the blogger assumes the identity of his car, have a niche following."
Thanks to my 'niche' following. To all you readers, thanks for coming back here to see what nonsence I blabber out my exhaust. Honestly, I never did think it would go this far. Will keep revving and blogging!
p.s. i wouldn't say a blogger assumes my identity, rather I using radiowaves to his brain tell him how to post my entries. Heheheh....|W|P|111897758424686051|W|P|Never thought I would make it to the newspapers|W|P|6/15/2005 10:47:00 PM|W|P|JFE 8555|W|P|Some of you may be wondering who my master is and how he looks like.
Look no further.
me and Din, my master...
As of current, I'm waiting for him to return to JB to give me a car wash.|W|P|111884694559524309|W|P|Me and my master|W|P|6/14/2005 09:23:00 AM|W|P|JFE 8555|W|P|This happened a long time ago.
It all happened late one night, when my current master Mr Deen (Din's Dad) was driving me along the streets of Stulang Laut, near to the Duty-Free Complex at about 10pm, on the way to his 12-yr old daughter's school to pick her up from her Terengganu excursion. So then we neared a traffic lights T- junction. From a distance it was still green, so Mr Deen packed a bit of speed to take the left turn.
Suddenly, there was this blue Satria coming from the oncoming lane at a considerable speed. That's it. We COLLIDED. The Satria went head-on against my front right side and the impact was so painful! My front right tyre got crashed in, my wheel arch caved in, I felt many things broken, my hood bent, my bumper's right bracket broke off and dangled, and I was pushed/dragged a good 2 metres away. I felt extreme pain in my engine compartment. Something is wrong. My engine died on the spot. I went into a coma.
I woke up a week later in a workshop to the sounds of my engine revving. I still felt pain, and a lot of body panels from my front side are missing including my front two tyres. It seems the collision ahd caused some new parts to be fitted into my engine and my front suspension had to be replaced. Original bumper, front right panel wheel arch and hood were useless and I was to be fitted with parts from half-cut cars which I saw on the ground from one headlight I still had. I went back to a coma a little while later.
It was very much laterI realized what had happened when I first went into a coma at the accident site. Mr Deen was OK, but only later found out he fractured two of his rib bones due to the impact with my steering wheel. To me, it was most important he was alive and yet, I feel guilty of breaking his ribs with my steering wheel. The story is that the Satria driver claimed he saw a green light (which was obviously not true) and went ahead. That's how he collided. His car didn't suffer much damages though, just a replacement of a bumper, front lights and stuff. I felt the MOST pain.
Mr. Deen called home to tell his wife what happened and asked her to ask some other parent to fetch his daughter back. As he saw me broken, he felt sad I would not be in the pristine condition he took care of me all this while. I guees he also lost driving confidence and had a bit of phobia too. (he was cured when he drove me on the highway to Din's graduation a good 4 months later).
And as I know, the next morning Din's mom gave Din a call waking him up from his morning slumber. He was alarmed, but remained cool once he knew about his Dad being OK. He then asked about me, and I guess he cried a little. I was touched.
I came back home after 2 weeks in the workshop. I felt strange. I felt some of my new body parts not fitting well, and my engine feels funny. Mr. Deen was OK and didn't drive me for a long while. Din came back the following week to see his Dad and me. He saw a picture of me taken by the police and was horrified I could still be driven. RM3000 was my repair cost.
Din drove me to test me. He also felt strange about my engine. You see, after the accident on the exterior my body was a mess. Loose fittings. Bad aerodynamics. But it seems the engine was more responsive and more powerful than before. I know because previously, I wasn't able to smoke a Waja from a traffic lights stop. Now I can. And my road holding and handing was greater than before. I suspect I wasn't fitted back with Proton original parts, because the performance was staggering. A 1.3 engine felt more like a 1.6. Din drove me in and out of Permas Jaya, overtaking, overtaking, overtaking and speeding. I can take the pressure and felt better. Din seemed pleased. I saw something in his eyes. It seemed to tell me, that he has a lot of plans for me in the future.
That plan is now a reality. That plan is project 8-triple-5.|W|P|111871405485832566|W|P|The Very Painful Accident which changed my life.|W|P|6/12/2005 10:29:00 AM|W|P|JFE 8555|W|P|So many people are claiming there is a certain way in tackling the touge. Well, I'm not saying there are lots of nuts saying there is a proper way, but in fact there are MANY ways to tackle it. It's just that it depends on the CAR you are driving. You see, first we have manual and automatic. Then we have classes of cars like sub-compacts, sedans, K-cars, SUVs, MPVs and so on. So you see, when you couple transmission with kerb weight plus turning radiuses, braking effectiveness and inertia, the downhill and uphill touge.......there are many ways to tackle it.
But of course, the main concern for those going downhill is to take care of their brakes and those going uphill is a panting engine. Let's see it objectively, how would a human save on a car's brakes? Take it from me, let the engine do all the work. In both transmissions, engage the second gear. Believe me, all cars can do engine-braking. We are made to do it. But you have to apply your brakes BEFORE you turn, not while turning, coz after you turn to negotiate the bend, inertia can settle the corner speed for you. And make sure you grip the steering wheel with BOTH hands so any untoward incidents can be avoided. Some SUVs like the Land Rover Freelander has hill-descent control, so you just have to concentrate on the road.
As for the upill, do make sure you use the appropriate gears at the steep sections. In many cases, when you have to negotiate a rising steep corner, you should pick up some speed before the corner so again....inertia can help bring your car halfway and then theengine can resume the work. This helps in not stressing your engine too much.One more thing, you are doing uphill, brakes don't have to be applied if you follow a good driving line. As in racing lines for racing curcuits, the line dictates the best speed to take so you can save time.
To know more on how to handle your cars at touges, ask your mechanic. They know your car and can recommend the best way to drive him/her. Remember, take care of your car and be proactive, otherwise you may be nursing an overheated engine bay halfway up Genting at 1 o'clock in the morning with a dead phone battery in the frigging cold.|W|P|111854444906393679|W|P|Touge Driving|W|P|6/10/2005 08:19:00 PM|W|P|JFE 8555|W|P|Look at this Vios.
i'm so jealous...
The rear skirting, those rims, that spoiler.....modification done right. I wonder if Mr. Deen will do something similar to his Vios when it arrives in September....
You see, its every car's basic desire to look good. Unfortunately, not all cars in stock condition are proud of their looks. Take for example, a Perodua Kancil. I have spoken to many on the road and they hate how they look. Same goes for Wira Aerobacks, Kia Picantos, Volvo station-wagons, Nissan vans and such. However, there is a solution to all their problems in the looks department. Upgrades/modifications.
Yes, with a simple change of rims, you can make an ugly car look damn good. (unfortunately, this doesn't apply to the current Honda City, its ugly for life, no matter what you do to it). Then there are decals/paints/stickers/smoked headlights. Little by little, you can give your car a makeover to become the envy of all stock cars (sigh....I'm still stock....except for my Michelin tyres...heheheheheh). Hey, even your 1980's Nissan Sunny or 1992 Saga (heheh Silencer) will be the envy of their generation. Still don't believe me? MTV has this show called Pimp My Ride.
However, not all cars are modified properly. Some masters are so disillusioned they think their Proton is a Mitsubishi with a change of a logo, and all those modded Wiras think they are road-going rally machines. Suckers. And it doesn't stop there; some cars are even lowered so low that if you fix a broom head to thier bumper they can clean the road while moving. And it takes FOREVER for those lowered idiot cars to get past a speed bump, with them zig-zagging on the bump. Imagine them going down Genting, confirm a Kancil can beat them.
In short, even if your car is a grey piece of junk (touch tar), do him/her a favour and get them a makeover, and don't overdo it.|W|P|111840763534402518|W|P|Some cars look good when properly modified|W|P|6/08/2005 09:44:00 PM|W|P|JFE 8555|W|P|Well, lets see it step by step.
10. It's just an experiment.
9. I want to be as famous as THAT AE86.....
8. To share the feelings a car has to go through....(yes, cars have feelings to you know).
7. If I'm lucky, some of you can give me a discount for any upgrades/accessories/care care/etc.
6. To see how you humans react communicating with a car.
5. Coz I want to be the only Iswara Aeroback to have a blog.
4. Actually, coz no other car blogs, and I want to be the first.
3. To voice my opinions regarding caring for your own car....( like my master)
2. To see how many other sexy female cars you guys can recommend to me.
and the no.1 reason I blog is.....
1. To be the 0.000000000001% that deters humans from dominating the blogging world.
vroom, vroom!|W|P|111823885963815729|W|P|Why I, just another Iswara Aeroback, blog....|W|P|6/08/2005 05:11:00 PM|W|P|JFE 8555|W|P|I was as usual parked at the side of Mr. Deen's shop when all of a sudden a little white/grey bird came and perched on my left side mirror. I don't usually mind nature's little beast coming to bond with me, but I didn't want them to leave me with something I was BONDED to! You know what the asshole bird did! The idiot bird went to my rear end and shat on my rear windscreen! Dammit! I activated my rear wiper and made it worse. Stooopid me. *feeling sheepish*. I horned the bastard bird away. I swear he was chuckling away when he went. How evil. And there I was with bird shit strewn all over my windscreen.
I knew my current master will be thinking this to himself when he sees the poo.
"Hmmm. Another bird shit. I wonder when Din will be coming back....."
You see?! He's so malas to get me cleaned he rather wait for my future owner/master to come back and send me to car wash. Actually, this was the routine ever since he got me in 2002. He will wait for me till Din comes back from college every month and Din would wash me himself. Then when Did went to Genting and came visiting every other month, he would send me to a car wash place and I would get an engine wash if I'm lucky. But I cherish the period when Din was a 'jobless graduate' (he just finished college and applied for a few jobs and waiting for responses; thus he is a 'jobless graduate' ;-) ). That time, Din would drive me everyday to pick his sister from school (SIGS) , change Singaporean currency in JB and also go bring his mum to pasar malam. I really felt loved (no, not the gay type you moron) when he was around coz he would make sure every evening I would be spotless and stay hygenic. Ah those were the times...... Soon we will be together again once Mr. Deen gets his Vios.
....I still hate birds...|W|P|111822274334368433|W|P|I HATE birds.|W|P|6/05/2005 05:06:00 PM|W|P|JFE 8555|W|P|Last Friday, Din drove me and his dad to a UMW Toyota showroom. Apparently, they are getting a Vios. I had yet to believe they were getting a non-Proton, even when Din went to test drive a Honda City last Wednesday. Haha, he looked funny driving it. He passed by me while taking the car onto the highway, the look on his face was like his underwear was suffocating his teabags. I can't blame him. That City is so bloody ugly. I don't know how Honda could give birth to such an ugly creation. I think I look waaaaay better. And later when he came back I overheard him say it was difficult to adjust driving the City. The only plus point of the City is the 7 gear changing mode. It seems there are two buttons on the steering wheel; on the left and right, which do the SAME function which is to upshift or downshift. The reason giving by the saleswoman was that there are right handed and left handed drivers.... -_-. I can't believe it, what an excuse! Right-handed left-handed my exhaust-pipe! Like it makes a difference. Then there is the changing of gears from 5 to 7. Seriously, Din can't see or feel the difference. Plus him being a tall guy didn't get a good view of driving. What above all that, the City is ugly! The short MPV-like front end! The long rear! The teeny-weeny tyres! Ugly! For you humans, imagine looking at a girl with tiny boobs, large ass and damn short legs. You will more or less picture the City as how I picture it.
Anyway, back to the UMW Toyota showroom. Din and his dad dissappeared inside and minutes later, a lenglui salesperson brought out a Vios 1.5 G (with ABS...fuyooo....yeah as if its so great). Din's dad tried driving first. Boy, the last time Mr. Deen drove an auto was like 10 years ago (the test drive of a Waja 2 months back didn't count). So as usual, Din who sat next to him in the passenger seat guided him. The went slow....then took a turn and dissappeared. Bear in mind i was parked in front of the showroom, and it was at a corner lot, so I should be expecting to see the Vios driven by Mr. Deen on the long straight where I was facing. Minutes late, I saw that and Mr. Deen was getting the hang of it. The Vios then sped very fast and Mr. Deen suddenly applied the brakes with full force...the car stopped in a very short distance without skidding (fuyoooo ABS, that is great.....I can't do that). The Vios stopped in front of me while Mr. Deen and Din switched places. The following is the conversation that followed between me and the Vios.
Me: Hey, ssup?
Vios: Oh I'm ok. This Mr.Deen doesn't really know auto. But I guess he liked my ABS.
Vios: Heheh, sorry. Your his car?
Me: Yup. I'm going to belong to his son when he hopefully buys one of your species.
Vios: Oh...I envy you.
Me: Me? You ...an RM85K Vios 1.5G with ABS envy me....an RM38K but now RM25K (coz of depreciation and accident last year) Iswara Aeroback 1.3 without ABS? Why?
Vios: You at least have a master. I'm just a test-drive car. I'll never feel the sense of attachment to an owner. And my world is limited to this area only. You at least can travel far more than me.
Me: Hey, you're right! You should be envious of me *pistons kembang* Plus I'm going to Genting to stay there.
Vios: Oh shoot, now I'm more jealous of you. Oh well, off I go with his son driving me.
Me: Good luck. Don't be surprised if he does a handbrake turn.
Me: Hahah. Kidding.
Din drove the Vios so much so it impressed his dad. Well, Din does know how to know auto, his first experience driving it was with Genting Theme Park's 1997 Nissan Serena on the highway heading to JB. So this time, Din was so adjusted to the Vios than he can handle it before the car shifted to its third gear! Now you can see the biggest difference between driving a City or Vios the first time; adaptability! OK, in human terminology, imagine you wearing briefs since at a young age. Wearing a new pair of briefs is like driving the Vios for the first time, wearing a new pair of boxers is like driving the City for the first time. Ahh....now you can see the difference.
Mr. Deen made up his mind and decided a RM79K 1.5 Vios 1.5E is gonna be his. And he wants it in Jade Green. Funny, I have never seen such a colour shade on a Vios, have you? Anyway, after the father and son split the booking fee evenly on their credit cards, Mr. Deen can only expect delivery of the Vios he ordered in September. He also wants the number JJJ 8555. Damn, now I have to share my last name with this newcomer. Anyway, Genting mountain road! Just wait! In September I will come to conquer you!|W|P|111796262267518190|W|P|My current master is getting a Vios! And my future master will get me in September!|W|P|6/05/2005 01:37:00 PM|W|P|JFE 8555|W|P|My master, Din had just started his diet today. It saddens me to see him suffer without eating any normal food for the entire duration of 7 days. I think he is going to extend it to 14 days. I pity my master.
*shoots water onto windscreen. Switches on wipers*
I wish him best of luck.
p/s: Din! You better lose weight before you drive me to Genting! The more weight you lose the lesser burden my suspension has to suffer!|W|P|111795019765143319|W|P|Poor Din started his diet today|W|P|6/04/2005 11:13:00 PM|W|P|JFE 8555|W|P|I think it took some time for people to accept a car that blogs. And I'm deeply touched with Sharizal for his words of encouragement. Thanks man. Will continue!
I know it's odd to be talking to cars. But hey, we all never complained when K.I.T.T. talks to Michael Knight right? But I know I'm better than K.I.T.T. I blog (never mind he can turbo boost, do super pursuit mode and is bloody intelligent).
I love blogging. ;-)
*revs engine*|W|P|111789817740372918|W|P|Words of Encouragement|W|P|6/03/2005 02:15:00 AM|W|P|JFE 8555|W|P|I had always had an admiration for star cars. Just like media celebs, they are famous, have distinctive appeal, and are hunted down by paparazzi that they have to covered up sometimes. Below are 3 cars I admire (actually there are more but I can't remember).
K.I.T.T. from Knight Rider fame! Plus this car can actually talk to humans, drive by itself, jump like nobody's business and really speed! And he's intelligent too!
Kitt decides to lepak on some grassy place
This Delorean is from the Back To The Future series. It can travel back in time and can fly. Damn, I wish I can fly. Imagine all the jams I can avoid.
he doesn't have to 'believe he can fly and touch the sky'...
Something closer to home. The AE86 from Initial D. Drift Machine. I wished I was a RWD. *sniff*
coolly taking a corner
Yeah the AE86 may just be an anime version. So what. I also can what....
anybody willing to make an Iswara Aeroback a star? anyone?
Get me a script.|W|P|111773617900721184|W|P|Some cars I really admire *pics inside*|W|P|6/02/2005 03:00:00 PM|W|P|JFE 8555|W|P|1. Upgrade to 15" Sport Rims and Pirelli tyres.
2. Change front bumper to LMSS bumper.
3. Change front & rear lights to LMSS crystal version, then to ‘blacked out’.
4. Change rear black panel (with reverse indicator) to LMSS type.
5. Change to LMSS rear and roof spoiler.
6. Adjust/upgrade suspension to stiffer settings.
7. Upgrade braking system to ventilated disc brakes.
8. Upgrade exhaust system.
9. Replace front driver and passenger seats to bucket seats.
10. Replace radio with Kenwood CD/MP3 with Subwoofer sound system .
11. Change to racing-type steering wheel and gear shift lever, add-in power steering.
12. Change to stainless steel racing accelerator, brake and clutch pedals.
13. All round tightening of body panels.
14. All round strengthening of chassis, additional fabrication and moulding to cabin area.
15. Tinting of windscreen and windows.
16. Spray whole car to Metallic Black Pearl (currently it is Metallic Dark Grey).
17. Swap engine (with accompanying transmission system) to 1.6 litre, preferably with DVVT.
18. Add turbo/supercharger.
19. Upgrade to 4WD.
20. Din to rob a bank to pay for the hefty modification bill.
Original entry here.|W|P|111769572253028551|W|P|My wishlist (hey, a car can dream right?)|W|P|6/01/2005 11:47:00 PM|W|P|JFE 8555|W|P|Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.|W|P|111764083352084979|W|P||W|P|6/01/2005 11:22:00 PM|W|P|JFE 8555|W|P|Din came back last night. So happy to see him. Mr. Deen, Din's dad, totally ignored me the past few weeks and never noticed I badly needed a car wash. Din probably knows I would always need a car wash everytime he comes back; and as expected he took me to the car wash early this morning. He even surprised me by telling the car wash taukeh to give me an engine wash too. Sweet! Later he brought me to somewhere next to the Pasir Gudang highway to tighten my bumper.
the place. see me in the picture?
Naturally,I was excited as my bumper would FINALLY be fixed after 5 months. Plus the looseness was made worse by Mr. Deen's short friend who drove me into a longkang. Nut I'm not going to talk about such an embarassing experience here, sorry.
removal process. and yes, my bumper was THAT loose...
So this welder guy unscrews the bumper and takes it off. This is how I looked then...
gaa! missing bumper!
According to the welder guy, the problem may be that I have a 'cavity' in my foam. I was thinking,"Yeah, right...." ...
let's see what was wrong...
.... then I saw this! And I was thinking,"Yeah, he IS right!"
...omg! there was a 'cavity' all along!
And my dentist...ehem...welder started his magic. He used some kind of gluey stuff to fill in my 'cavity'. Apparently, it would be as tough as the foam.
mixing new foam sustance
The welder guy applies the stuff to my 'cavities'.
applying it at the voids
Don't tell the other cars I had a pink flavour! Embarassing for a manly car like myself...
there it is, nice pink shade....urgh yucks...
To cut the time short, the welder guy had to resort to such measures...
hairdryer to speed up drying process
40 mins later, the bracket was ready to be placed onto my new 'dentures'.
the bracket is replaced back onto the bumper
The welder guy finally finishes my dentures...
...then I had my 'nose job'!
my nose is missing, so i can take in more fresh air
The last step would be to flatten my identity plate (you humans have identity cards, we cars have identity plates!) thanks to Mr. Deen's short friend...
gaa! identity crisis!
But with a hammer and new industrial strength double-sided tape, I'm back to tip top form!
And there you have it. 1 hour of fixing my bumper's dentures. Great, at least my bumper won't wobble like a 1970's Datsun at those yellow lines on the road...Din, was extra caring today. I went for realignment and changed a camber screw. Set Din aback some RM94 bucks. Didn't seem too pleased about that. I wonder if he should know about my faulty steering column which resluts in the steering wheel to never be in the 12 o' clock position on a straight road.....neh, maybe he knows already. Hope he fixes me fast before he finally brings me to Genting for good.|W|P|111763944039048715|W|P|Had my bumper readjusted today, to you humans it would be like having your dentures fixed...|W|P|